Blog Post #3: Dear Little Me
By: Maryam Yousuf, Pre-licensed Professional
*TW: This article has one mention of child abuse under the heading “What is Inner Child Healing?”.
Dear little me,
I’m not sure where to start. I guess I’ll begin with the four things I really need you to know. I love you, I’m sorry, I forgive you, and thank you. That might not make too much sense right now, but you needed to hear that. Look, life is… a lot. And you’re, well, little. You have everything you need to make it through whatever comes your way, but it may not always be easy. Know this, that you are so strong, brave, and beautiful. I see you; I feel you, and I hear you. You are safe with me; you can trust me. It’s okay to be scared and anxious and fearful. Know that I will protect you. Know that Allah (SWT) will protect you, that He Loves you. That’s all I have for now; I’ll talk to you soon.
Love,
Me
What is Inner Child Healing?
The concept of the “inner child” was proposed by influential Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung, who stated that inside of us exist the children we once were, including our emotions, memories, and childhood experiences (Davis, 2020). While some people have fond memories of playing and having fun as kids, others may not share in that sentiment. Children can go through a lot. For some, this may look like more extreme situations, such as being subjected to abusive behavior (physical, mental, emotional, etc.) or living through traumatic experiences. For others, this can look like having emotions neglected, not feeling heard, and feeling like you were never good enough. Despite the extent of negative childhood experiences, we tend to carry these with us as we emerge into adulthood. This is where inner child healing comes into play.
An article states, “Inner child work is an approach to recognizing and healing childhood trauma. It recognizes that our behaviors as an adult stem from our childhood experiences. Inner child work focuses on addressing our unmet needs by reparenting ourselves. This kind of self-discovery helps us understand our behaviors, triggers, wants, and needs” (Campbell, 2022). Essentially, this process gives us the time and space to look back at our childhood and give ourselves what we needed then. This journey can also help you understand why, as an adult, you display certain behavioral patterns or practice specific coping mechanisms. For example, let’s say that whenever you got in trouble as a child, you were told to go to your room and sit there alone to think about what you did. Fast forward to your adult life, every time there’s a problem, you tend to isolate. See a connection? Let’s look at what you can do to practice inner child healing.
What Are Some Ways to Practice Inner Child Healing?
Often, people will practice inner child healing in therapy with a licensed clinician. However, not everyone has the accessibility or resources to engage in this work through therapy. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways for us to practice inner child healing at our own pace and comfort. Some examples of this include but are not limited to:
- Write a letter to little you. Look at the snippet provided at the beginning of this article for reference. When you’re ready, take out a piece of paper and write a letter to the younger you, including anything you wish they were able to hear or know.
- Practice self-compassion. Be gentler and a better listener to yourself. Be mindful of the dialogue you have internally (Is it negative?). Try to navigate where this may have stemmed from and what you can do to be kinder to yourself.
- Connect with yourself. Pull out some old pictures of you from your childhood. Try to remember what you were like and create a bond. Remember, whatever you’re saying to yourself now, you are also saying to the younger you.
- Get creative. Bring the care-free play and innocence back into your life. Take yourself to a toy store, play tag and hide-and-seek with your family, blow bubbles in the backyard and run through them. Whatever it was that brought you joy as a child, revisit it. You may just end up loving it more.
Re-parenting yourself and digging through these memories is not always easy. In fact, it may bring up some tough emotions and be difficult to stomach. Try to share your inner child healing goals with a trusted loved one. Any healing experience can become easier when you have ongoing support and understanding.
What Does Islam Say About Healing?
- Engage in Salah, Dua, and dhikr. To remember Allah (SWT) and sincerely ask Him for help in your healing journey is surely one of the best ways to start this process. Be consistent and strive to become not only a better person, but a better servant to Him (SWT). (Bonus points if you fast with the intention of preparing for Ramadan!)
- Create a sense of community. Let it be regularly going to your local masjid or taking part in a youth organization, spending time with others who are in a similar headspace as you can help you feel supported and encouraged to become better.
- Prioritize self-care. Islam emphasizes concepts like cleanliness, having good manners, and being kind and respectful toward others. As you heal the little you, make sure you are raising them to become the best Muslim who pleases Allah (SWT).
*Disclaimer: I am currently a pre-licensed, Master’s level student in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. This blog post is purely for awareness and educational purposes only. For further information or clarification, please seek help from a licensed professional, thank you! -Maryam
References
Bukhari, S. (n.d.). Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 71. Sahih Bukhari: Book of
“medicine”. Retrieved January 17, 2023, from https://www.sahih-bukhari.com/Pages/Bukhari_7_71.php
Campbell, A. C. (2022). How inner child work enables healing and playful
discovery. How Inner Child Work Enables Healing and Playful Discovery. Retrieved January 17, 2023, from https://www.betterup.com/blog/inner-child-work
Davis, S. (2020). The wounded inner child. CPTSDfoundationorg. Retrieved
January 17, 2023, from https://cptsdfoundation.org/2020/07/13/the-wounded-inner-child/
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