Blog Post #2: New Year, Improved You
By: Maryam Yousuf, Pre-licensed Professional
“Black and gold balloons flying around. Glitters and sequins and sparkles everywhere. Loud music blaring, dysfunctional dancing, and heartbroken people chugging their yearly regrets away in a bar. Not to mention, the random explosions of fireworks that keep us up throughout the night. Sound familiar this time of year? A surprising number of movies with a New Year’s scene tend to have some of these elements, and chances are, many of us have been conditioned to think of these things when someone mentions a New Year’s party. While this way of celebrating a New Year is impermissible, there are plenty of permissible ways for us to navigate this time. More importantly, this time grants us a space for self-reflection, new habits, and a more content version of us.”
How To Set “New Year’s Resolutions”?
When January 1st rolls around, many people can start to feel the pressures of the “New year, New me” tradition and create an unreasonable and intimidating list of resolutions. Come February and March, not being able to keep up with this can leave people feeling disappointed, anxious, and frustrated. The truth is, it doesn’t have to be this way. Certain methods have been studied and proven to show more success and increased likelihood of sticking to goals. Sometimes we set unrealistic expectations out of excitement because we like the idea of being a new or improved person. What we don’t factor in is the time, consistency, and energy it will take to reach our goals.
It is necessary to understand the difference between long-term goals and short-term goals. An example of a long-term goal could be getting in better physical health. To achieve this, a short-term goal could be losing 5 pounds in a month consistently, until you achieve the appropriate and desired physical health. New Year’s goals should also be S.M.A.R.T. This acronym stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. Essentially, being intentional about your goals from the beginning can help you reach them, as well as allow you to stick with your goals and make changes as needed.
What Should I Know About “New Year’s Resolutions”?
- Be Specific. How often do we say things like “I want to lose weight. I want to exercise more. I wish I spent more time with my family. While these are wonderful goals, they can be too broad. To help you achieve what you want, create more specific goals. Let’s look at some examples!
- I want to lose weight = To get into better physical shape, I will change my eating habits and include more whole foods in my diet. My goal is to lose 1-2 pounds per week, and 10 pounds total within 2 months. I will check my weight once a week, and make changes accordingly.
- I want to exercise = I’ve noticed that I’ve been feeling weaker lately. I will start to go on a 20-minute walk after I come home from work. When I start to feel comfortable with this, I will increase my walk to 30 minutes and when I have extra time, I will spend at least 10 minutes on basic exercises.
- I want to spend more time with my family = I know my family and I are busy but we all miss each other. At the beginning of each month, I will coordinate with them to spend at least 1-2 full days together. In case this is not possible, I will meet them for Friday prayer or dinner that weekend.
- Create a Plan B. Let’s be honest. Sometimes you’ll have a walk planned, but maybe it’s raining or you’re too tired. Now what? Make sure you have established a backup plan and prepare for any challenges that can get in the way of consistently maintaining your goals.
- Examine the past. They say if not learned, history repeats itself. This can be true with your past goal setting techniques and management. If something has worked for you in the past, think about why and how you can apply this to a new year. If something has not worked out for you, think about why not and what you can do differently.
- Don’t compare your goals with others. This is a given and comparing is typically a recipe for disaster. Let’s say you and your best friend both plan to lose 5 pounds in January, and they lose the weight within the first two weeks. This will likely lead you to question what you’re doing wrong and make you feel like you are failing. Don’t fall into this trap! Instead, concern yourself with your own goals and how you can achieve them in the way you need.
- Find support. While comparing is a no-no, it is a great idea to lean on a support system when times get tough! This could look like sharing your goals with someone you trust and asking them to be there for you in the capacity that they can.
As a Muslim, What Should I Know About “New Year’s” Traditions?
Firstly, it is important to understand that there is no religious significance for “New Year’s” in Islam. Allah (SWT) has Created time and Given this as a way for us to measure time and events. Having said this, there are a few things which are and are not permissible in relation to the end of a year.
- Celebration. Be mindful of how you celebrate the actual “New Year’s” night. Traditionally, society asks us to participate in that which is displeasing to Allah (SWT) such as dressing immodestly and behaving inappropriately. Stay away from the drinking, dancing, partying, etc.
- Self-reflection. An entire year has gone by, creating an amazing time for us to reflect on ourselves as people of this Ummah. Think about what you are grateful for instead of focusing on what went wrong. It is permissible for us to say something like “It was a difficult year”, however, it is prohibited to curse the time as it is a time which Allah (SWT) has Given you.
- Intentions. Take this time to be honest and vulnerable with yourself. Remember, it is never too late. You can make changes, repent, and seek forgiveness at any given time. Everything is dependent on the purity and sincerity of your intention, or niyyah.
*Disclaimer: I am currently a pre-licensed, Master’s level student in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. This blog post is purely for awareness and educational purposes only. For further information or clarification, please seek help from a licensed professional, thank you! -Maryam
References
Konstantinovsky, M. (n.d.). The psychology behind New Year’s resolutions. WebMD. Retrieved
December 28, 2022, from https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/psychology-of-new-year-resolutions
Leslie Riopel, M. S. (2022, November 18). Goal setting in counseling and therapy (incl.. examples). PositivePsychology.com.
Retrieved December 28, 2022, from https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting-counseling-therapy/
Suleiman, O. (2021, January 1). Do not curse time: What a new year really means | Khutbah by Omar Suleiman. YouTube.
Retrieved December 28, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPFBGQ9LcaM&ab_channel=YaqeenInstitute
0 Comments